What If?

As I sip on my morning cup of coffee and get ready for my trip down to Rome Georgia, I started playing the what if game. If you are not familiar with the what if game, it goes a little something like this, What If I were a good racer? What If my mom still didn't have a job? (I would be lie-ing if I said I wasn't dependent on my parents. However, compared to some other people my age, I am hardly dependent.) This is probably my least favorite game of them all, so why am I playing it in my head? It makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm sure it has something to do with the race this weekend. The last time I raced in Georgia it was the Athens/Roswell weekend. Possibly the defining moment of my best friends, Stefan Swecker, career. We were doing the Athens Amateur race (one of the most well known races in the country). The week before, I had won the Dogwood crit with Stefan taking 3. That race was pretty much luck, it was Stefan and I against 2 other guys from other teams, we knew one of us would win, It was just luck that i was the one that won. Anyways, back to Athens/Roswell. We are at one of the most prestigious races in the country coming in with half a lap to go, I was sitting 2nd wheel as the group was going super slow. A small gap opened in front of me and I drilled it, no one followed. As I make the last turn, my legs begin to crumble, 100 meters later, I blow up and everyone passes me. Stefan WINS. Later that evening, he wins the finals race. At that point everyone knew about us. Everyone in Tennessee was dumbfounded. So is it fair for me to think about what would have happened if I didn't take that flyer? Stefan is practically my brother, that was the happiest I have ever been, so why am I now thinking what if I didn't do that? I feel like everything happens for a reason, I took that flyer for a reason, the reward was Stefan winning, had I not taken that flyer, Stefan would have been too far back to put in a sprint. Although I did not have the individual glory, he did. I am very happy for him. Living life with no regrets is something that is very important to me. All this what if crap is regrets, regrets are stupid. As I get ready for the Rome race, I hope that I end the weekend with not only a good result, but also the knowledge that I did everything possible to get myself as good as a result as possible, was not over aggressive or overly conservative, I played the race right. If I can say that, I will probably have another top 10 under my belt. For me, playing the race the right way is very hard. It is something I have to learn, but everything that happens is a learning experience. I try to soak up as much as possible. Sorry for the long post, I just feel like rambling this morning.
Crow